


The freedom to choose

by LeDahliaNoir



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Broken Engagement, Christmas, Coming Out, Dating, Developing Relationship, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Psychological Trauma, Social Media, Travel, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-01-22 07:54:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21298253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeDahliaNoir/pseuds/LeDahliaNoir
Summary: Though he was proud to be able to date Lewis publicly now. He was still mindful that the fans... Everybody would demand more from them. That was the side part of the story.
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel
Comments: 18
Kudos: 97





	1. Madrid

**Author's Note:**

> Why not writing about a coming out story ?
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated :).

_Madrid. December 2019. _

In the beautiful capital of Spain surrounded by the spirit of Christmas, two World Champions were taking their dinner in one of the coziest restaurants in Madrid nearby Sol's neighborhood. A few weeks have passed since Lewis sixth world title, but this title wasn't the most important thing for him. 

Alongside his family and friends, he had announced them that he was in a relationship with Seb. At first, they didn't understand what Lewis might be talking about. After all, there were many guys named Seb in the world. After a while, Lewis' little brother got the point and did a knowing look. This was about Sebastian Vettel. How easy it was !

His relatives weren't that surprised but the timing and how long they have been dating made them question Lewis' incentives to come out. He explained them that this year they both realized that they needed to make their own choices. Nobody was ever going to live their life, hence, it was much better to try to do things on their own. The scariest part was what people would think about. Lewis' dad has always been supportive of his son. Though on this case he was just worried about his son's well-being. He didn't want Lewis besides having faced racism in his whole life to endure the fact that some people might disapprove his relationship with a man. 

Lewis knew how much this could be a big deal but they both made up their mind. From now on, they'd live their best life ever. A new decade will start pretty soon and who cares about one could think of Lewis being into men. 2019 taught him to appreciate the people he got in his life and to always focus on the positive. 

*

During that dinner some people recognized them. Yeah there's something Lewis forgot to tell you all. Seb and him came out on Instagram after Lewis world title in the beginning of December. It's been a while since they started to plan that post. At first, they didn't know how they'd announce it: either a video or a post. Although this meant a lot to Lewis, they went for the post explaining why they were both important in their respective life and they'd no longer hide. 

As for Seb, it was a scary place to be because he wasn't used to use social media or share his private life, but with Lewis' support he accepted that "celebrity part". In any situation, there was always a beneficial part and a fallout. Though he was proud to be able to date Lewis publicly now. He was still mindful that the fans... Everybody would demand more from them. That was the side part of the story. 

Lewis asking Seb about his food, "do you like it ?"

"Yeah, I do. It's a bit spicy but overall so good. I think I'll try next time" la tortilla ".

"Sure !" Lewis replied but he could feel Seb's uneasiness with all this attention. They were still adapting to that new life, but Lewis promised him that everything would be ok. He just needed to trust the process. 


	2. Being curious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter is here. I'll try to write one chapter a week until Christmas. Thanks for following me in this new adventure :).

In the middle of the night, Seb woke up warmed up by Lewis' body heat against his. Coming back to his senses, he escaped the bedroom to having a glass of water in another room of their suite. His throat was sore. Way too sore. For all he knew, yesterday night started off pretty well with a nice dinner, appreciating the Spanish Christmas delights and exchanging some stares and words between two portions of food. Seb even joked about the whole F1 season most notably what happened to his car during US GP this year. That was just ridiculous. Anyway, the atmosphere turned out to be sweeter than expected despite the curious stares of some people in the restaurant, but they try to distract their minds from this. 

Some of these people wanted to take selfies with them but didn't dare do so because Lewis' bodyguard was in no mood to let them disturb their dinner. For once, Seb was just thankful. For the first time in his life, he didn't feel like living up to his reputation of being nice. Something just happened behind the scenes between his boyfriend and him. When Lewis went to the washroom earlier, his phone rang to notify him a message. The trick here turned out to be that Lewis has just checked his own phone before leaving Seb, which meant the latter could have still accessed to his phone as it didn't secure itself yet. 

Being curious has never been recommended. Period. Seb knew it, they just had the habit of using each other's phone though. Otherwise it wouldn't be the end of the world to see the notification that just appeared on the screen.

Obviously, drama ensured between the two lovers a few minutes later.

From then, the vibe between the two rather changed overnight. As Seb didn't want to embarass them, he just bottled up everything. The drama will wait later. Appearances did matter. They weren't there to cause any stir for people to film and post over Twitter. 

Lewis thanked him because he knew he'd have to explain that ambiguous message still standing proudly on his whatsapp feed. 

Back to where Seb left Lewis, he still thought about yesterday. Why did Lewis receive that message and who was that person. He didn't remember that Lewis knew that man. What that man was to Lewis ?

Too many questions to ask in the morning. For now he just decided that he'd write about their Spanish getaway but something told him that he'd hear again about that man in the near future. 


	3. The doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody 🌞! The 3rd chapter is here earlier than planned. I think with this chapter you'll get to know more about the issues in their couple. 
> 
> Ps: I'm thinking about changing the rating of this fic because at the same time it's mature but it's going to be more explicit with the topics I'm going to talk about in the future. 
> 
> Thank you again for kudos and comments and see you next week and spend a great weekend. 😊

It is said that you always have the choice to choose in life no matter what. Either you become a prisoner or you accept to be free. Is that true ? The freedom to choose or the freedom to love.

Seb has barely slept that night reminiscing about the events of their dinner together. Instead of crying over one single text message, he just favoured to write things down on his notebook about their small escape in Madrid to occupy his mind already in shambles. This has given him the right amount of time to think about the previous night.

The night before had just been awkward because Lewis could feel that Seb had something going on in his mind that prevented him from speaking up. Besides adding the waste of meal to the equation, Seb did no longer feel the need to finish the so expensive dinner that Lewis had paid for them generously. He wasn't just feeling it anymore. That text message just drained down his whole mood. Since their coming out a lot has happened behind the scenes. As any significant other Seb has always wanted to know what Lewis did in Austin to celebrate his new World Championship. Nevertheless Lewis has always brushed off the whole question stating he just partied as usual, not willing to elaborate more about that fiery night. Thereby he just let Lewis be and didn't ask any further questions since that day which worried a bit the Brit. Usually, Seb was a talkative person and it didn't sit right with Lewis to notice Seb's new silence. Actually when he came back from his meeting with Ferrari that crazy night in their hotel room, Lewis was already asleep not waiting one second or staying up to welcome him.

The weirdest thing of all was Lewis scent. Yeah that scent didn't smell like him. The cologne was way too strong. Obviously it can happen if you greet someone you can indulge literally into their scent. That's why in the beginning Seb didn't want to dwell too much on it, but the fact that Lewis was smelling another cologne definitely began to bother him. Taking into account the so-called message from yesterday, Seb started to think about something more alarming related to the night of Lewis' sixth world title. 

Leaving his notebook on the table, he decided to join Lewis again in their bed. The older man turning himself proceeded to straddle him in order to massage his back. "Let me please you" Lewis whispered when Seb slightly turned his face aside. Honestly, the younger man didn't respond because he didn't want to face Lewis today. Not today regarding the context. 

Noticing the change of demenor of his man, he attempted to get an answer.

\- Seb, what's wrong ? He demanded between two longing kisses holding now Seb's face.

\- Nothing I'm just not in a mood today sorry.

Lewis didn't take his answer for face value and asked for more. He needed to know why Seb has been acting that way for the past few weeks.

\- Really ? I mean I thought that's what you wanted yesterday. You've been pretty vocal and so adamant about it. So am I wasting my time with all my questions ?

Lewis' frustration seemed to get on his own nerves. The passivity and recklesness of Seb's answers didn't soothe the already tensed atmosphere since yesterday.

From the first days they always had a good relationship but not a great one since the coming out. Each and every time Seb managed to find excuses in order to not get intimate with Lewis. Their sex life has been pretty much inexistent for two weeks now. Yes indeed, it's been two weeks. Two long weeks since their last sexual encounter. Lewis didn't know if he was the problem or Seb. To be fair, Seb's F1 season has been tumultuous from beginning to end. Having faced all those setbacks put a strain on his mood and relationship with Lewis by the end of the season.

When his man won his sixth title in Texas, he was definitely happy about it. He even waited until the end of the race to congratulate him, but that night as he had to sort out some issues with his team - Ferrari - he let Lewis celebrate his title with his family and friends. Yes the night of Lewis' world title Seb wasn't there with him. He just stopped by to congratulate him in the cool down room as previously said. That's it. Lewis didn't want to start any trouble, but he has been pretty much disappointed by Seb's disappearance. He knew his boyfriend didn't do it on purpose. Understandingly that day had been too much with what happened with his car, the politics inside Ferrari and the whole F1 season. Seb wished things had been different but it wasn't the case. And he wasn't going to pretend that he was ok with it. 

\- Seb I really want you today but i don't know you always try to avoid _this_" 

\- What is _this_ ?

\- Us having sex

\- So it's that your only concern now ? Us having sex ?

Lew didn't know how to interpret his boyfriend's words. He sounded a bit upset and dejected by something else.

\- Of course not but I just want to taste you again because let's not pretend your mind seems to have been somewhere else recently and yesterday proved my point all over again"

\- Fine. Make me then.

Seb complied and vented his frustration. 

The neck. One of the most sensitive parts of the human body, and Seb's favorite spot to be kissed on. He didn't wait too long to start feeling Lewis' creamy lips on it. He got on with small pecks, feeling him. Then he accelerated the pace with moist kisses all over his neck.

\- Sorry to tell you this but you'll need to cover up your neck for the next few days

Seb didn't even have the time to wonder why. Lewis began to suck on his neck. Possessively. Intensely. Encouraging to close the gap between their two bodies. Seb liked that feeling, that feeling of being beneath Lewis, that tense sense of escaping his daily life problems and to be physically dominated by the man he was in love with. When Lewis finished there, he moved slightly his body to let Seb breathe a little bit then he held his chin up and went for a lazy kiss while watching Seb's face. It was no secret that Lewis found Seb's eyes incredibly beautiful. That blue. That freaking blue color was all for him every single day till the end of times. How lucky he was to have Seb. Sebastian Vettel in his already extraordinary life. Once again, Seb wanted to add something but Lewis silenced him, posing his finger on his pinky lips. They couldn't help looking at each other's face: Lewis with his so delicate features and Seb with his unique slim frame. They just like to see what was in front of them. And what was in front of Lewis ? Seb's body just ready to be taken care of.

Immobile and just waiting for Lewis to do what he has to do, he made Lewis question his own motive. Did he want to have sex in those circummstances ? Anybody in the room would have seen that Seb wasn't in the mood to have sex.

Lewis didn't try further because even though they were dating, still having the consent of his beloved was the most important thing. He didn't want to take advantage of Seb's kindness. Deep inside, he knew Seb would never deny him anything even if he wasn't up to the task, but Lewis wasn't the kind of man to not respect the will or consent of anybody. So he just let him be and went to the bathroom. They'd have breakfast pretty soon.

Staring at the ceiling, Seb knew how badly Lewis wanted him. Sex wasn't everything in a relationship, but being intimate deemed to be a huge component of being a couple. The more time went by, the more Seb confined himself. His vulnerability differed from the one he experienced one month ago. Thinking again about that text message, Seb thought of how Lewis looked and acted the day after his victory. As he wasn't there he didn't know how the celebration had been going on, yet knowing his Lew he must have celebrated it until dawn. Consequently, the question was now who was with Lewis that night ?


	4. Cold winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! The 4th chapter is right here. I'm not that satisfied with it but it is what it is. :)
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments !

The chilly evenings of December finally caught up Sebastian's life. Eventually he was back from their short trip in Madrid. The weather in the Spanish capital was better than the one where he lived in Switzerland. Everything was sweeter in the South of Europe, he thought. As the snow welcomed him upon his arrival, he didn't feel like going out or doing anything else. Too exhausted up to a mental, emotional and spiritual level. After all the F1 season was definitely done, and he'd wait now for the next one patiently. Though that wasn't what worried him in the first place. 

Since that Spanish escape with Lewis, Seb had decided that they needed a break. Not a break-up, but a break to assess their situation. Lewis still didn't want to reveal exactly what had happened that night, and who really was that guy that texted him in Spain. The incident put so much pressure on their relationship that Seb wasn't really up to communicate anymore, nor Lewis about the issue. They just pretended that everything would be ok in the future even though the opposite settled down in their routine.

The first few days were just horrible in Lewis' life. Seb's absence made him wander about the night of the Mexican GP. That blissful day when Lewis won the GP and Seb was standing proudly on the podium with him looking happily in love. It couldn't get any better in his memories one week before the sixth crown in Austin. That fateful night Lewis didn't even remember exactly. The only excerpts he recalled was with his friends and family but there was a moment when all the Mercedes crew gathered with Toto, lecturing about Lewis' inspiration and success overall. Then one of the mechanics came to greet him personally as well.

What should he do now ? Begging Seb to come back in his life or giving some time to consider about his own actions. Truth be told Lewis didn't really see Seb's break intentions as they really were. He got the feeling this was a way to break up with him. Definitely. He even accepted to submit to his requirements because he didn't want to be a burden besides of having to deal with Ferrari as well. 

It was always raining a lot in London. Nothing new. Yet Lewis' tears reminded him how much to be separated from the man you love could be so painful. It was almost Christmas time and Seb hasn't given him any sign of survival since they let go of each other after Madrid. He even wondered how he was doing. Lewis knew he had the possibility of sending him a message, but didn't take the courage to do so as Seb must have been busy with his relatives as much as Lewis was with his. 

*

One week later, Lewis received another unsolicited message from the same man.

_Can we just hang out a bit ? I know u must be busy but I'll be in town next week. _

The first message in Madrid was rather friendly so he didn't think much about it, but this one sounded rather more intrusive or personal as if they were close in any regard. 


	5. The distance between us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! :) The weekly update has arrived. In this section, you're going to understand why Seb and Lewis have started to distance themselves from each other.

Seb had every right to choose to take a break from everything. Even from Lewis. The latter knew that and could have had the right to not accept that break, but he chose to comply. Let's be honest, right here, a break usually might lead to a definitive break up. Lewis wasn't that stupid. They were both aware of this fact, but Seb swore to Lewis that he would take some time alone to reset his mind and get back on track for the better. For their couple. They didn't need to attend counseling therapy sessions. What they would even say to the therapist ? They're taking a break because of a celebration party and a random message ? They haven't reached that point yet. And never will. At least that's what Lewis was hoping for because he wanted to approach their issue directly. How to start with when you don't really know why your boyfriend is really upset about and mad at you. 

He wanted to ask him but resumed to let his man come back to him. Seb was the one who wanted the break after all, not the other way around, hence, he should have the decency to contact him again. If he ever will. 

London humidity had given way to the Winter season, which forced Lewis to make himself more and more busy with stuff and so on. Yet he just couldn't help thinking about Seb. What he might be doing and with whom he was. As usual, he would take a hard stance on himself. Blaming himself for everything happening in their relationship. He knew he shouldn't have these black holes and despicable negative thoughts, but he deeply missed him. His boyfriend. The separation was too difficult to digest. Not feeling him, kissing him, telling him his worries and his plan for the future pushed Lewis to postpone everything he had planned so far own his own and together. Life without Seb was terribly tough for Lewis because Seb had that habit to wake him up with a cute good morning and a very welcome good night almost every single day.

Since the beginning of their break, nothing of that sort happened. The total void. The emptiness.

He knew he should take advantage of the moment to focus on himself and better his character. After all self-love could only come from within one's soul, but he was still in the unknown regarding Seb's intentions. There were some days where Lewis was so miserable that he started to watch all of their videos and pictures together all over again. Since their coming out he hasn't posted anything yet on his social media with Seb.

Today was the day he decided to post a single picture of Seb on his own trying to focus on his reading while Lewis was trying to snap a picture out of it. 

The caption was pretty simple: I love you. That's it. No need to say more or less.

His man will get the memo.

As he hasn't been active for a while on Instagram and Twitter, his fans started to flood his notifications with some encouraging words within the next minute. In this sea of positive words, obviously there were some strong and concerning remarks about their relationship but he didn't care. 2020 was around the corner and whatever people might think about it wasn't his concern. They made the choice to come out and he didn't regret anything at all. 

Lewis' only concern was Seb's persistant reluctance to get intimate or emotionally available. He knew he was part of the blame as well. The night after his sixth title when Seb joined him, Lewis was already asleep but dishevelled. This wasn't in his habit besides the fact that he didn't look good, and was experiencing a huge hangover the next morning. The kind of hangover when you feel like this wasn't just about alcohol but something more worrying.

Whenever Seb tried to pat his arm, Lewis got defensive right away. This was such a freaking weird behaviour because out of nowhere he acted as if he didn't want Seb to hurt him overnight. Since that day, Seb took his distance and made Lewis regret instantly his odd reactions. 

Evidently knowing Seb he didn't hold a grudge against Lewis but he definitely started to wonder about what had happened that precise night and why Lewis acted that way. This was from that night their relationship started to shift. 


	6. Reunited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new update is here :). As I've started to write this fic in the beginning of November the timeline of some events might differ a bit. For example, the FIA gala will take place almost two weeks after the Abu Dhabi race for the purpose of that story. 
> 
> Once again, everything in this work is fictional. Thank you for liking and giving kudos as usual.

Since his new world title, Lewis has been pretty much busy attending several types of events from fashion galas in London, going to Malaysia thanking the whole Petronas team and concluding the tour with the FIA gala. He didn't have one minute for himself, but his situation wasn't that terrible because it helped him to forget about Seb for a while. 

During the night of the fashion gala, he met-up with various well-known artists and public figures. Obviously that famous crowd would turn out to be very tempting for the less-prepared people. The flamboyant luxuries, the glam and all those beautiful rich people were available to Lewis by just raising one little finger. Nevertheless as Lewis was used to them and the whole circus of celebrity coming along, he was still heavily committed in a relationship with Sebastian Vettel. Foreign to the whole circus. The temporary nature of their break shouldn't allow him to cross the boundaries. 

Seb didn't deserve it, what made Lewis remain calm the whole evening dancing from time to time in whatever after-party he was in.

Seb's absence at the FIA gala this year didn't go unnoticed. This would have been their first ever official outing as a couple gracing the paparazzi with some nice pictures. Though it didn't stop Seb to call Lewis throughout the night just to congratulate and encourage him in due form for the first time since their _separation_ after the Madrid trip. A bold and an unexpected move because the media have asked about Seb's presence for the night during the red carpet session but Lewis always replied that he couldn't be there for personal reasons. That was much better to say than revealing the side story of their issues. It wasn't the right moment to gather any sort of bad attention. 

Seb's move showed that he hasn't forgotten about Lewis' existence till today. And they might be on their way to reunite sooner than later.

This train of thoughts appeased and gave Lewis' worries some perspectives about their future together.

*

A few days later as he had the spare keys of Lewis' London flat, without acknowledging his presence, Seb arrived with a nice bouquet of flowers upon arrival. He knew his man would be sensitive and ecstatic about it, and eventually he would post it on his Instagram. He knew him way too well. 

Knowing Lewis, Seb managed to get in the flat before 2pm because he knew he wouldn't be there at this time. The reason of his arrival meant they would definitely lay all the cards on the table about the text messages, the man behind it and the events of _that night_ for good. 


	7. London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! :) Sorry for the delay last week, but here I am with a new chapter. The big revelation is coming soon...

When Lewis got in, his dogs weren't with him. Nobody actually knew where they really were. It's been a while since last time Seb saw them, but this wasn't what his attention were directed to. Observing Lewis' entrance, he discovered a man definitely exhausted not only because of their separation, but on the fact that he was always on the road almost everyday. Seb was definitely aware and felt a bit guilty to have let him dealt on his own with this. 

*

The first thing Lewis noticed was the huge bouquet of flowers on the dresser waiting to be carried away. He didn't remember that someone was waiting for him today, which made him question about who was the sender of those flowers.

When he turned upside down the bouquet, there was a little letter inked on a pinky paper. One of Lewis' favorite color. 

_S+L_

He didn't know whether he should cry or be thankful. Seb didn't seem to care about him for the last few weeks, and now this. That was way too easy and he knew he shouldn't thank Seb so easily. After all he hasn't heard from him for almost three weeks so what did he expect then ? A nice and warm welcome from Lewis putting everything behind them ?

When he inspected the flowers, he took the time to be transported into a new universe by their amazing scent. This so delicate scent melting all his senses and reminding him about some vacation a while ago near the French mediterranea beside Nice. Past those thoughts the first idea he got was to take a picture of them and showed it to his fans. Attending the whole scene, Seb leaned over the wall. His Lewis looked so relieved, glad but drowned on his melancholy. He didn't want to spoil the whole scene so he tried to hide himself a little bit more. This was Lewis' moment. His moment. 

Still thinking of the flowers Lewis uttered a few words, not noticing Seb's presence.

_Seb I wish you were there with me. This isn't how we gonna solve our problem but I appreciate this gesture. You knew I'd fall for them_. 

Appearing unexpectedly from his hidden place, Seb answered Lewis' talk. 

" Who told you that I wasn't there for this ?" Starstruck by his presence, Lewis had the hard time to figure out how on earth Seb got in without any further notice. The blond appearing from god knows where contemplated his reaction. He looked a bit hesitant, wondering what in the hell Seb was doing in front of him. 

"Have you lost your tongue?" he asked. Lewis, still shocked couldn't manage to find the right words. 

"Seb I didn't expect you here... I'm just... shocked by you being here "

"I know. Just wanna to surprise you"

"Well done then. Thanks for the flowers by the same way. I definitely appreciate but I think we need to talk, don't you think?"

"That's exactly the reason of my presence before Christmas Lew. I'm just so tired of what's unsaid between us and some of the things you've been hiding from me"

"Hiding ? "

"I'm not that stupid. You know I know some high profiles in the Mercedes garage "

With those last few words, Lewis realized what was coming up next for them.


	8. Before Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't disappeared I just had a lack of inspiration for 2 months but thank god it's definitely back. :)
> 
> This chapter could be interpreted as an introduction to the big revelation in the next chapter.
> 
> Hope you all will like it. And I intend to finish this fic for sure.

Christmas was usually a time where everyone was at peace with themselves. This year was no exception for Lewis, but he had something that really bothered his mind.

What really happened the night of his new title in Texas ? He didn't seem to remember anything at all.

Sebastian's presence was indeed very welcome in that uncertain moment. No one else would ever understand him anyway. Seb was his rock. Simply his everything.

The Hamiltons would arrive shortly in a few days to gather and celebrate the holidays together, which left Lewis and Sebastian the time to rule over their issues.

*

_A few hours later in Lewis' bedroom_

Seb changed his clothes and settled for a casual attire this time. The atmosphere was hot with all the heat emanating from the chimney. Lewis loved to look at the fire and the wood. This helped him clear and relax his mind every single time. People would think he was an unreachable man, but truth be told he liked the simple things in life like just staring at the fire.

Fire was like a reflection of himself throughout his life: fierce, devastating but respectful at the end of the day.

That's why his father played a big role in his ascension to the mountain offsetting his temper and focus. He knew that it could've been his demise in that hostile world.

When Lewis joined him on the sofa beside the fire, Seb welcomed him with a big hug. This has been such a long time that lew didn't experience Seb's warmth. Just the nurturing feeling of his hands gave him the needed comfort that he has been missing for so long. 

Simply the spirit of Christmas.

*

Lew has been asleep for quite a while on the sofa while Seb was switching up the TV channels. Nothing was interesting except random news about the weather, the eve of Christmas and the family gathering. 

Lewis didn't have the habit of snoring, so whenever he does it Seb just kicked his leg to remind him that he was still there. And he didn't miss the target this time because Lewis woke up suddenly wondering where he the hell they were.

Seb let him guess for a while.

Unexpectedly, he approached his boyfriend and gently kissed him on the lips adding " Lew we're still in your flat. Sometimes I'm wondering who's the most stupid between you and me".

Savouring Seb's longing kiss, Lewis took Seb by surprise "I love you and I really mean it".

Seb not knowing whether he should kick again Lewis' leg simply stated "you're definitely the most stupid one for sure. I'm trying to reassure you and this is what you're answering".

His dear Lewis and his pretty smile...


	9. Crying out for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, you might understand what might have happened to Lewis the night of his new title.
> 
> Disclaimer: sensitive subjects.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and the comments :). It motivates me so if you like it or have anything else to say don't hesitate.

Lewis was heavily crying on his little brother's shoulder. Usually, he was the one comforting him, but since Seb has left his flat one hour ago he was left totally devastated.

He knew that _their talk _wouldn't turn out to be good but they both needed it. Seb deserved the truth. They both actually deserve to be honest with each other.

What made Seb so furious?

*

That afternoon in Austin, Lewis was once again at the top of his game, meaning crowned 6th time world champion. The season has been pretty much long with the Ferrari being alive by the second part of the season and some RedBull's landmarks from time to time.

Before the podium in the cool down room, Seb braved the security and invited himself among the winners of the day: Lewis and Valterri. As a gent, he just wanted to greet them especially Lewis with all the affection in the world. Too bad the camera were there to catch their intimate moment. 

After all the celebrations with the team and his family, Lewis joined some members of Mercedes to even party harder with his friends. There was one particular engineer that has always caught his eye. His name was Henry Williamson. He was indeed British so they both bonded over their mutual cultural links. Henry has always been so kind toward Lewis, and the latter felt flattered to get all his attention because let's be honest right here the engineer was charming and attractive but it didn't mean anything. Seb would always be the number one in his heart.

As time went by during that evening, Lewis took once again a glass of champagne. He enjoyed this so much, but he made the huge mistake of _leaving_ his glass on its own unfortunately for a few minutes. One should never trust relatively unknown people, and Henry wasn't definitely one of his closest friends but more like an acquaintance.

When Lewis came back, Henry handed him his glass. And the older guy without thinking much about it, drank up everything.

At first he felt right as usual but as soon as his head started to spin, he demanded to leave shortly. So his bodyguard came back but Henry insisted to come along with them pretending to be Lewis' friend. Lewis didn't say anything too busy to try to stay wide awake.

His bodyguard noticed something quite different in Lewis' behavior. He sounded like he didn't know where he was and about the fact that he had celebrated a party previously.

Once before Lewis' hotel room, Henry said to the bodyguard that he was an engineer for Mercedes not to raise any suspicion. The bodyguard didn't ask much but told him to take care of Lewis. Another mistake... Never trust someone that you don't know.

The problem happened in the next morning. When Lewis woke up, he did no longer remember about the events of yesterday and why in the world he was totally naked on his own hotel room. And where was his Sebastian ? Did he spend the night with him ? Why there were some pills on his night shelve ?

So many questions in his mind.

* 

Lewis couldn't stop crying. He got the feeling to have lost Seb forever. 

To be continued...


	10. The beginning of the investigation : part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again ! For the next chapters, I researched a lot about how the justice system works in the US. 
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments :).

_Breaking News ! _

_Today, we've been told that some unfortunate event might have possibly happened in Austin during the US GP involving high profile people. For now we don't have many information but legal actions have been taken by the parties involved ._

The tension in the Hamilton's house was palpable. Tomorrow Christmas will take place without Seb. Since the revelation, the German hasn't contacted Lewis one single time yet. Too mad to do anything.

As for Lewis, he was the most miserable man on earth. The events of Austin has just become a turning point in their relationship: make or break it.

So many witnesses and few answers, but in that investigation someone knew definitely the truth. The whole truth. 

*

_In Switzerland_

Sebastian, standing on his own in the kitchen, was staring at the beautiful landscape in front of him reminiscing the events of the previous days by drinking a glass of water.

What happened in Austin shocked him to say the least, though that wasn't the most meaningful thing. Just the idea of thinking about what Lewis might have experienced throughout that night made him sick. 

In the beginning Lewis didn't remember anything at all but how was he able to deliver information out of nowhere to Sebastian.

That is where the investigation began...

*

_In Austin_

The GP took place a few weeks ago with Lewis Hamilton's crowning ending with a sunny day. The good times the officials of the GP thought at that time, but now they had other things going on at the same time since the beginning of the week: the justice department knocking at their door.

Things escalated quickly in just a few days. One of the _complainant_s was surprisingly Sebastian Vettel. At first, the State Justice Department led by the Attorney General didn't understand why in the hell he would involved himself in the complaint. Anyway he didn't have to explain anything at all. The department should just do their due diligence about the case concerning first and foremost one of the engineers from Mercedes. Now former engineer because he got laid off with immediate effect regarding the serious allegations surrounding him. 

For the investigators, Mister Vettel as they like to call him kind of pressured them to do their job seriously insisting on the fact that they don't want people to think that the US GP is stained. That one single innuendo didn't let them insensitive. The reputation of the GP was at stake. And it's just now the media started to get details about the whole drama.

They all knew that it was just a matter of time before the fans, the whole world, would know it. 

And Sebastian knew it should be seriously taken because he has just received on his email adress these instructions from the Crime Victim Services Division from the office of the Attorney General in Austin:

_Victims of crime, and other people who have knowledge about the commission of a crime, are often required to testify at a trial or at other court proceedings. The federal criminal justice system cannot function without the participation of victims and witnesses. Complete cooperation and truthful testimony of all witnesses and victims are essential to the determination of the guilt or innocence of a person accused of committing a crime._

_Crime victims and witnesses might experience feelings of confusion, frustration, fear, and anger. If you are a victim or a witness, the Victim-Witness Program of the United States Attorney's office can help you understand the rights given to you by law._

_The United States Attorney's office is committed to ensuring that crime victims and witnesses are treated fairly by the criminal justice system. This pamphlet will provide answers to many of your questions and will help you understand your rights and responsibilities._

To be continued.


	11. The beginning of the investigation : part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! I know it's been a month but here I am. So this fic will have 20 whole chapters. The end is definitely coming.
> 
> By the way, I hope you're all doing great. :)
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments.

_Arriving in the office of the deputy General Attorney, Lewis took place and_ waited_ patiently for Miss Thomason to come by._

"Hi !" A blond lady introduced herself by checking his hand with a big white smile holding a brief case.

"Hi !" He acknowledged. 

"How are you feeling, Mr Hamilton?"

"I've been a little bit hesitant with all the process but I think it's for the better, isn't it ?"

"Yeah.. "

"You must be right."

"Against evil people, I'm always right. Please have a seat" She winked.

Before having one last call, she asked Lewis whether he wanted something to drink. 

He opted for a kiwi juice because it just reminded him how much Seb liked that fruit.

"Before starting over, can I ask you a question ? And I know it's gonna be a bit indiscreet but who's Sebastian Vettel to you. A friend or something more?"

Lewis expected every question possible but not this one. It was rather private but what he had to lose anyway. Nothing with her.

"Seb... I mean Sebastian is my boyfriend."

She added a cheeky and knowing smile, and proceeded to log in her professional email account.

"Alright ! Let's start please. Do you know why are we meeting us today?" She took one of the colorful pens on her desk and started to write down. 

"Yes, it's to talk about my case."

"Right but even more. I don't wanna sound political but what happened to you was terrible and I guess that you don't want it to go public?" 

" I wish"

She left her chair and sat on the table in front of him.

"Let me be clear, this is a very sensitive case and the justice department with you have a big chance to win it. By the same way, do you know how the court works here, in the States? "

" Have an idea I guess"

"It's simple. It's up to the defense to prove their innocence and we have a lot of evidence to back up the opposite. Let me be honest with you. It'll go public unfortunately. You should ask your partner why."

*

_It'll go public unfortunately. You should ask your partner why._

These last words have kept circling around his mind since he arrived in Switzerland. What did she mean? And what was Sebastian's role in it?

Too many questions without answers.

The reason of his presence in Switzerland was actually something related to a sponsoring event promoting his new watch collection, but he won't lie to himself that Seb has always been on his mind the whole time.

Riding all over the red carpet, smiling at the cameras putting on a brave face Lewis thought about how much people have no idea about the upcoming storm within the next few weeks.

When a female journalist asked him how he was doing and what was next for 2020? He shortened his answer by stating he was just fine and Mercedes were getting ready as usual.

Lewis just did his second job: being a celebrity and practicing the art of avoiding bad answers or words out of their context.

Inside the event's room, Lewis took a non-alcoholic drink and proceeded to have a seat because he'll be answering a few questions shortly. 

After the event, when he reached out his hotel room he just hopped on the bed and light off everything. A good night of sleep was needed.

It's been at least 30 minutes since Lewis was asleep miles away somewhere in his dream. The King-sized bed was way too comfortable to not take the chance of enjoying it when his phone rang.

At first, Lew didn't want to answer the phone. The call could wait for tomorrow but the ring kept coming again and again. It wasn't that "late" for a Saturday night to his standards therefore he took the call, and was agreebly surprised to see Seb's coming call on his screen. He'd have never expected it. 

The conversation was rather casual. Seb wanted to know how Lewis felt about the whole circus, and tellig him that he had all his support and will always be there for him no matter what even though he was still frustrated about Lewis... he didn't want to pronounce the full name of it, but they'd get over together as a Team. 

And that was the promise of the day. 


End file.
